Crybabtstill March 11,, 2010 Dream: "Grey Hair!!".

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  -(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger

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  March 11, 2010

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  Dream: White Hair- Vanity.

[In my dream] I am dressing to go to work and was running late as I combed my hair I discovered a tangled mass of whitish hair and cut it away and threw it in the bathroom trash can. Which I noticed had some messy stuff similar to old tea leaves on the bottom, which now with the hair tossed on top seemed to form a crude picture of a head reminiscent of the ones in the tea cup reading game we played when I was a kid. At first, I didn't believe I had every had any white hairs ever, then I remembered someone whose name I can't remember but someone had once told me I had some white hairs. I search, for a name for the partly remembered voice and "Jane Austin" pops into my mind but I reject it, as she was a early writer of romance novels and of a hundred years ago, no way in a position to have called my attention to signs of ageing. Like a Rorschach Ink blot the image takes on a female head shape, as I stare at it. I see an odd looking woman with a most pecpeculiar hair do.

I would like your comments and analysis of my dreams' Just put "White hair Vanity" fateanalysisguy@gmail.com

The Image I saw. Ouch!

Crybabtstill February 26, 2010 Dream: Pharaoh's cat.

-(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger February 16, 2010 Dream: The Pharoh's Cat

I arrive on the city bus at the Rosicrucian Museum. I have a membership pass and the ticket monitor, looks it and smiling tells me I am early and should visit a newly furbished tomb chamber replica, that now carefully reconstructs a burial chamber. And that it it is a near virtual reality event. I follow the suggestion and join others listening to the lecturer, restating the Egyptian burial beliefs which seem to have gone few revisions during their very long history. He said it is remarkable the core beliefs changed little, but the representations in art and architecture, just expressed them differently. The group descended down steps to the burial chnaber that was smaller in space, so that we had to push tighter together, This made me uncomfortable. Our attention was called to a small cabinet like box on the wall high above our heads. The guide caused its door to move open and inside was a painted eagle, that had spread out its wings as if taking off for the after-world. I feel something touching my legs and because we are so tightly packed together, I have panic thoughts about being molested or groped. I work my hand down fully expecting to contact some body's hand, Instead, I detect that it is a furry cat and shift around until I can lift it high enough to see it. It is a black cat with a long neck and short hair, a living version of the cats pained on the wall decorations. I am relieved, it is calm and comfortable in my arms. I become worried that somehow I had violated some sacred tradition and could expect punishment of some kind to follow. The guide is too far on the other side of the crowd to ask, what to do and a trumpet horn sounds and the crowd pushes me back up the steps into the foyer. A security guard passes and I try to explane what happened. He calls me crazy and to get that cat out of here now. Outside I feel I am RESPONSIBLE FOR BREAKING SOME LAW. I think that I don't want a cat. BUT FEEL I AM BEING TRAPPED INTO CAREING FOR THIS ONE. I think then of reincarnation and wonder if a connection exists. To go home with the cat is a concern, in that the city bus has a no pets allowed policy. I would have to take a taxi. I put the cat down and try to walk away, but its follows closely. ============= My analysis of this dream runs on two tracks, the obvious and what is not there. The obvious is I am a seeker, looking for some enlightment from the ancient world, perhaps partly echoing my early catholic indoctrination which also covered much of the same thought world, with heaven, hell, enternal life and a panthion of saints. The feeling in the dream of much being unsure. Could there be this also as a reality in the modern world? I am unsure--there is much unsure in the dream content- I arrive too early, I am diverted to the reconstructed repliica of the pharos earthly remains, he is surronded by the images of things from this workd that is to accompany him to the next- I am uncomfortable in a tight pack of the crowd-I feel as first thought, the contact on my legs as a threat of some sexual intrusion unexpected and uninvited. My reaction to mystical cat is one of fascination, uneasiness and inappropriate of having any further association and I look for away to shift this to some other. This seeming impossible I think ahead, what if I accept the cat so magically present and later it would just as magically leave, I am unsure of the cats gender or if I return a bond to it equal to its apparent attaching to me, and even if such was possible and would not some time the pharaoh awaken and demand his cat back? More down to earth, in the dream the there was was none of the feeling of sharing, support and warmth that I once had when so many years ago, I actually attend events at this museum and explored its philosophic teachings with enthusiasm. Is the cat that I fear to accept somehow a wish to restore that lost anchorage?

I would like your comments and analysis of my dreams' Just put "Pharoh's Cat in the subject and sent to fateanalysisguy@gmail.com --JoAnn

-(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger January 8, 2010

-(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger January 8, 2010 Two dreams: 1. Really bad experience as a beauty operator, assault, police questioning. 2. Desire to get married, ugly legs, Golf skills demonstrated in I was at work-but not my real life work, it was somewhat like the Southern California Villa I had seen in my earlier dream of applying for a job at a TV production company. Only this time, the grassy shaded area was not provided with benches but a intervals were beauty shop stations, they were more like ones I had seen in a movies about celebrities having their hair done, than any one I had ever been in. I am not a beauty operator or as far as I can remember ever wanted to be one. For economy reasons my mom used to do my hair with hair kits from Walgreen's drug store, most the time. A trip to the beauty shop was for special occasions al through my school years and even later. Also unless was when I was very small did I ever have a physical altercations with my mom. The Dream: The dream had me giving an older woman a shampoo and set - I was worried about doing this as I feared I might be able to do so competently. Also there was not enough time to fully set her hair before the 7 o'clock closing time. Never the less I started. At some point I decided I needed to use on her hair the barber shears (perhaps to have less hair that would then set faster?) There were no proper shears in the equipment drawers, so I went into the building to get them. Somehow in searching for shears I took a wrong turn and had to use a unfamiliar exit door which I hoped would take me back to the lady -however, it didn't go all the way as it just stopped midway-. Somehow I resolved the passage issue and got back to her. I told her a story to try to allay her unhappiness over this obvious incompetence, It was that the shears were had been put away by the people who work with me but were off today and I there for did not for that reason know exactly where to find them quickly. But this was to no avail she was crazy angry and grabbed the shears and a struggle followed. I felt terribly guilty wresting the shears away from her, but I could see it was coming down to either her or me as to who is going to get hurt. She realizes her arm is now cut and bleeding and finally accepts my help to wrap it in a towel. She calms down and I call an ambulance. The ambulance arrived and we both got in. I finally did the older woman's hair on the way. She despite the upsetting circumstances said "Remember 'I want nice light waves and use those wave curlers' - With doubts as to whether I could do so, I STARTED SETTING HER HAIR. At the emergency room, when we arrived a police team surrounded us and detained me while the woman was taken to the doctors by an officer and I was questioned. The questioning officer I think was the same one who was honored in my earlier police banquet dream, only this time he was dressed in police street actions type jacket and boots. An assistant took down every word I said. Realizing the seriousness of possible criminal accusations, decided I would revamp the truth to make it all sound as accidental as possible without lying too much. I feared what story the woman might give the police. I omitted her attack on me and said instead she was very restless and moved causing the shears to cut her. The officer was very accusatory, pointing to scratches and black and blue spots that were starting to develop on my arms. I said I don't know. After some time I was told I could go as the woman's story was similar to mine, with some minor inconsistencies, I felt relived. Two nights later: I woke tonight with the thought I was very desirous to get married- Something about me had been blocking this before. But I couldn't say, what for sure. I remember though it had something to do with my legs which someone mean had called '4 legs'. It seems as though in my dream everyone was expecting me to fail in this desire and yet I knew within myself I could. Somehow I first had to go out, and descend a slope -As I stepped from the cement curb to the green grass, I had to side step deposits of horse manure. The grassy space appeared to be un cared for, and in some places dry and dead. Then when I got on the higher located green, I think there was a high wind but I think I did O.K. holding my own against it. There were others there too bucking the wind and hitting golf balls in to it with apparent pleasure. When I also tried this successfully the people didn't seem quite so derisive or unfriendly.

I would like your comments and analysis of my dreams' Just put "Beauty operator" or "Golf"" in the subject and I'll try to make use of what you say Send it to me at fateanalysisguy@gmail.com

"CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger December 6, 2009

-(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger December 6, 2009 Job interview in Hollywood, Crazy Murderer or Candid Camera ploy?.

I dreamt, I was standing in some kind Southern California type of walled court, sunny, warm and tranquil. The grass was thick, soft, and bordered with orange trees loaded with ripe fruit. There were comfortable looking lounge chairs placed at intervals. It was just like the homes of the Hollywood stars you see in magazines. I find one of the chairs under a orange tree that provides a comfortable balance of sun and shade. I am supposed to wait here to be interviewed by the producer of a television series based on the concept of police coming face to face with perpetrators while the cameras roll. Somehow, I am seeking the position of assistant to the director. A job I think would be ideal for me, and within my abilities but that I knew I would have to really have fake any claims of actual experience with. Being a dedicated fan of the Soproanos, I considered as useful to bring this up when the interview got around this, as a ploy to get away from my lack of actual experience. Thoughts of this nature occupied me as I sat there trying out, in various little visual plays, what he would want to hear from me. Suddenly I saw a man running toward me, I expected that he was hurrying to fetch me to see the Producer. As he neared and I recognized this could not be what he was approaching me for. I FEEL FEAR AND DISGUST AT HIS shriveled LOOKING FACE AND BODY. He was excitedly saying -that he was a murderer- I wondered if this was some trick of the Producer and his Director were using, to test my ability to cope with the negatives that crime shows deal with. I was trying to comprehend what the man was saying-and same time trying to maintain the calm front of professional interviewer. 'SIR, maybe if you can calm yourself a bit and explain what you mean, --I want to understand what are saying --Do I need to call the police, medical people or your family? He continued incoherent, but I caught the words "murder-going to jump -niece at home-more destruction' All the words too mixed to grasp context. However, as soon as I repeated 'FAMILY? 'back to him, he said, “yes, it is suicide” but he spoke, as if talking to some invisible other person, not me. I tried to ask him other interviewer type questions and at the same time, debating whether to make away from him or stay and try to help him, as I was growing afraid for my own safety -But decide to help him, still hoping this was being staged by the director, something like was common on the old Candid Camera TV Shows. Then the man seemed to regain his self-control, --”Yes, If you will accompany me home I will explain all.” Then somehow, we were at his home, one he shared with his niece. This niece was married but the husband was not there. I assumed this had some connection to what was the cause of the man's saying he was a murder and his desire to commit suicide. Was this statement just a nervous breakdown fantasy or something real? I tried to get the facts from the niece, but as soon as she started to answer. He would drown out her words, growing so very loud and angry, that I grew frightened that he might murder the niece and me. He rambled on, something about “ if some woman loved him, then they should have their own place together. If this, not to be, then death to all the participants--” The man now, no longer looked so shriveled and crazy. Comment: Those of you who have followed my previous dreams may not be surprised that I have some grandiose desire to shine in the spotlight, T.V, film etc. In reality, I sell my self short when promoting myself and in my employment seek positions for which I am actually over qualified for and play as if what they ask of me might be too difficult. This protects me from the painful nightmares and tossing and turning nights that even the slightest mistake I make at work (or social affairs) cause me. Sometimes even outside system failures not in any way my fault or responsibility cause me to suffer this same way. Clearly neurotic, and as hinted at in the dream, I see it as testing of my facade. I am fascinated by my fellow human's fictional and real violence stories. Perhaps that violence enters my dream world from some related impulses hidden deep inside me? I am willing to look further, but so far it moves like a mirage distantly ahead. I would like your comments and analysis of my dreams! Just put "HOLLYWOOD INTERVIEW' in the subject and sent to fateanalysisguy@gmail.com I'd love to hear from you. --JoAnn

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Crybabystill (JoAnn) November 20, 2009

Dream #1. My phone at the house rang and a feminine voice asked me What the weather in Italy was like for that day. I pretended I might have that information -and she [by this, I forced her into a probe and in doing to maybe reveal what she really wanted to know and also who she really was, When finally the conversation stalled, I told her- "I didn't know." Dream #2. A big fat man with thinning hair and a hostile look on his face was standing in my office- looking at me. It was something about his beneficiary in Italy being denied access to his family home and financial accounts. It was that I, in some work capacity had issued him the wrong document needed to permit this person to transfer his funds located there. I protest saying, I am not permitted to issue, a power of attorney here or in Italy, as I am not an attorney. He grew closer and it appeared as if he was about to hit me. He said he knew better and that I had better get with it or else. The correct slip he said, was a blue one and not the pink one that I had mistakenly given him (I could tell by the snarling way he said 'mistakenly' that he believed I had done this to him maliciously). My supervisor on hearing the commotion, entered the room to the side of the man and after looking at the document in question asked the man to go with him to a higher ranked office that could issue such a document. He and the man left and I feared for the safety of my supervisor and I feared the man would return. Dream #3. Later, when it seems I am free from this dream and comfortably sleeping. I opened my eyes and I saw a man in a plaid sports shirt falling right on top of me. I yelled "Oh!" out loud and gathered myself together and realized it was not a real event.

Comment:

My Rosicrucian exposure, is from long ago and at a time my life that was one in upheaval. Today, I think what I learned then, is now diluted and mixed with all kinds of pop psychology impressions (as well some real life experiences- good and bad) acquired since. I do not wish to imply my self-concocted use or misuse of their philosophic views to be taken as authentic,
yet it is my starting point. I have a great respect for their teachings and the personal kindness they showed me when I needed it most.


I need to mention I am not qualified to advise others,
as well a little wacky when it comes to evaluating my own personal life details. Nevertheless, that is me, and where I find my starting points for dream alanysis and the resulting self-analysis begins by looking for hints of a cosmic if not devine power with a message somehow arriving from outside of my self, advising, nidging me, trying to move me to being a better person, a more insightful person and one helpful to others and not totally self-centered. or self-delusional. The good
intentions, I hope, are enough to cause others to overlook
the imperfections and misdirection connected with my input here. I try to take a view that has room for being open to other persons seeing my dream world different than I do.

I cannot tell myself if such desires changes in any way my dream
content or their value to me.

---

Although in my dream events here are three separate dream episodes. I believe they are connected at some level just out of reach of my ability to connect them.

This causes me to [1] read them over and then locate the base elements and test each of them agaimst my real life. Looking in particular for its message type elements [2] Then subject, piece by piece, each element or item in the dream to a kind of loose thinking somewhat in the manner of Freudian free association. I intentionally shut off any thread of association too repetitious, ugly, hateful or self-demeaning. This has something to do with my coping ability in relation to negative thoughts more than any rejection of free association as a analytic tool. [3] My coping ability also is key to my similar automatic shut-off of memory search, the next process. I break searching for the past whenever it turns into a guilt trip, or a muck-raking of childhood parental conflicts. I accept that these these things shaped me and that in time I can reduce them to ordinary
memories and not sore spots. [5] I tell myself that my unconscious will do justice in respect to that which is significant, when and if, it sees that I can deal with it. (Not very scientific but not unpleasant either. And I look forward to welcoming my new dreams as they arrive.

Here, fragmented, are my notes I jotted down- I don't normally write down anything but the manifest dream content in my dream book.

My not keeping written interpretations and associations has its roots in my belief when any element has been worked through you should be able to forget it and not be haunted by it.

Example my procedures:

Dream 1

The unidentified feminine voice - Asking about the weather in Italy?
Some associations
Voice= My alter ego, my conscience, my mother, the bitch at work who seems out to sabotage me.

Weather=  Sunny Italy- Tempests-Metaphor for moods. Weather we-at-her= hostile-feminine -tempestuous-intimacy problems (mine and or others).
My playing that I might know= a trick to get her [ego-super-ego or whatever] to reveal what she is really after?= vague fears/ s/he= who?/why?/what? Motive? /(various thoughts
not written down 3-4 minutes and I shut them off and move to the next dream. noting that it also connects to Italy)

Italy=sunny happy place [hidden Mafia elements=gangster=bad men-men= mostly-some women-danger to me-to others-recent local crime news-etc.

Color slip wrong/not useable for recipient/=good or bad intentions gone wrong-denial of responsibility for error- (one of my basic traits)=shift to others law-lawyers-dissimilarity of colors-excuses (I am indeed, a clever excuse maker)

Supervisor responds ='the other' who takes away fear and handles the problems to big for me to handle. (My missed father imago in childhood)

He takes the hostile angry man away from me and to a office with higher authority=wish fulfilled at the cost of shifting danger to him-my objects of attachment and love=up to mother-husband and-even god-etc.= -important images periled when I shift responsibility for things- I should be able to manage myself-the irrationality and the physicalitywith which this man confronted me= paralyzed ability to handle some negative
things-or do I just over react?-In this dream I don't think so-I am saved just before bad things happen (has been true in some but not all cases for me in past) -confrontations= I can't depend on such interventions to save myself or keep me stable-or to control others (Issues I know I have)
hostile intentions=( thing occasional a problem for me.)

At this point I feel I have turned up some new ground (my preferred metaphor) and move on to the third dream which is semi-hallucinatory and fear toned.

My first inclination is to reject this dream as not real-or
even analyzable and at the same time I recall how real it seemed at its moment of occurrence. It was real, lucid, clear and frightening. The plaid sport's shirt seemed to anchored it as visible proof of its reality. I feel this dream's nightmarish quality gives it more significance than the other two 'ordinary type' dreams. I found it however very difficult to perform the same association process on it that I do with the ordinary dreams.

Element research:
Man =dangerous or threatening// falls on me=sexual threats-real ones?/imagined ones?/
Plaid Shirt= scotch clan=scotch whiskey-drunk men= predators/molesters/

I then turn to past memory exploring for evidence that this could be a flash back to some bad experience that had come back to haunt me. Now I know very well, I have had perhaps, hundreds of nightmares, beginning in early childhood. These had all kinds of fear causing boogey men, creepy creatures, pirates and other disturbing images as the invention of a child's over sensitive nervious system. And maybe one not being able to control the development of its image world.

My memory search did touch on some foggy memories of my early confusions about sex, babies and adult life. But no hints supporting the occurrence of actual sexual things, except
my own self explorations and pleasure pain experiences, soiling
embarrassments, enemas experienced with apprehension and peculiar body sensations.

Nothing found supporting the occurrence of any actual man doing any sexual thing with me. I am never fully satisfied with my dream analysis, and I look forward to the next one. I believe I get some fulfillment, self-correction and self-healing from this practice.

Crybabystill (JoAnn) November 19, 2009 Three Dreams: A Voice, Angry Man, Nightmare.

I know I have taxed your attention by trying clumsily to show how I do my dream analysis and to what degree I use or abuse the process to self-analyze. If you wish to take me to task over my limitations and mistakes, feel free to do so. Just put "Angry Man Dream" in the subject space and e-mail me at fateanalysisguy@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. -Crybabystill. JoAnn,

Crybabystill- September 10, 2009

-(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL"- Invited Guest Blogger SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 1. Dreams: Sailor Suit/Lecherous Old Man/Invisable Glove/Fear/Keys/Unlocked Door/ 2. Childhood Memory/Being Admired/Libido.

I saw a child at least someone small in a foreign type sailor suit, except the waist and shirt were like those in old-fashioned albums. His sailor hat was set at a jaunty angle and forward on his forehead (somewhat like Popeye in the old cartoons when he was about to correct some injustice to his love, Olive Oil.) Everything was in navy blue. =maybe depicted me as a child, old fashioned (or inhibited), foreign and boyish. The navy blue might signify aspects of water - or represent 'blue' feelings. The sailor hat also blue = an depressed thing head/mind related. You will note I am trying clarify what I dreamed as a write it down and I worry that the effort may actually serve to hide the real meaning from you and me. The same night: I dreamed W. wanted me to go to bed with him -I really didn't want to and finally was afraid Jack would find out and think I was having intercourse with other men. In the morning I try to analyze these dreams as having something in common: W., I equate Pluto who was very crude in trying to be intimate with Olive Oil. Jack I think would look the role of a handsome healthy sailor, if he was in a navy uniform. (I was told by my aunt that my father was breath takingly hansom, in his marine uniform, when courting my mother, but he had little interest in maintaining a family. Also many of my past dreams have police, soldiers, nurses, doctors, ambulance drivers, all uniformed people, also 1920-30 style dressed gangsters.) I think I remember going with my mother to a Macy's store in New York, at about age 6, I think (it's vague) in the store was a display of various sailor and soldier clothing items for kids. Maybe being there had something to do with my father's ship being in port at that time. The next night I dreamed: I was outside two dark houses- mine was more dilapidated than the other – it was in shadow, mine was sort of brown, The man next door Mr. W. I didn’t like-- an yet he kept wanting to come to me. When I awoke I was shouting at the top of my lungs (in my dream) ‘Don’t come near me John –Don’t’ [ John resembles a younger Mr. W] I moved to the opposite side of my house away from this man wondering if I could get in the front door of my house and lock the door and keep him out. I become aware I had dropped my door key on the way and feared going back for it. Also I seemed not able to move, as something I could not see was holding me there. What was holding me there was much like an invisible glove. When I awoke I had a feeling someone was trying to get into my house I was very apprehensive. I just dismissed it as not being real as I often do with bad dreams. Bad dreams being an old experienced with me. But when I examined my door I found it was unlocked and one window also open. I closed it and felt better afterwards. [Strangely, the door being unlocked part is not clear if this was in the dream or real event.] The man in my dream may have been Mr. F. (an actual older neighbor, whom I often see, when I walk around to the front of my house to get the mail --which might represent some desired or feared message. Somehow I associate a pleasant event at work with these dreams. It was that, Mr. G, my work scheduler, stopped by my section and while there, complimented me on my dress saying how well it showed my figure off. I told him I was planning to buy a jacket which would make my dress more business like. He said he couldn’t wait to see it. Can so little of a friendly exchange shake up so much of my sleep world? To the invisable glove I associate that at some ceremonial things, the Marine dress uniform included gloves. Am I wishing to be a little Sailor-Marine? What has this do with my present reality??

I would like your comments and analysis of my dreams' Just put 'Sailor Suit' in the subject fateanalysisguy@gmail.com

Crybabtstill August 2009 Recent Dream- Threatning men.

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Why and How I Do My Self-Analysis -(JoAnn) "CRYBABYSTILL" Invited Guest Blogger August 2009

Here is a recent dream, it very mild compared to my childhood nightmares, but it still carries the dysphoric mood and the intractable fears of my childhood. I am at outside the Rosicrucian Library where I had just purchased several books on the teachings of the ancient Egyptians. I have to walk around the corner to the Park Ave. bus stop which is just in front of a remarkably detailed bronze stature of Julius Caesar, that stands at the side of the museum entrance. I wonder why is Caesar honored here? No one is around and the museum is dark except for some decorative lights. I thumb through the new books with anticipated pleasure. With one book that seemed the most attractive, I discover the replicas of the the tomb and temple art has been ripped from the book. I find my receipt and consider taking it back for a intact copy, but I realize it is too late to do so. I feel some miffed, but I continue to wait for the bus, it seems to be a long wait and I find my self making up excuses for the delay. There was an accident, the driver or a passenger got sick, the bus broke down or was hijacked. Behind the Caesar statue, I see emerging out of the dark two rough looking guys, they look to me to be gangsters. The closer they approach, the more I grow uncomfortable, my heart beats faster, as I realized there is no place to go to get away from them. I hope somehow the museum guards or their electronic security will bring me help. The bus arrives and we all get on the bus, and while sitting in silence, I argue with myself; (still sleeping) was I just overcome with childish fears or had I in fact escaped a real danger? When I awake and get up. I look for the valued book. I find the art plates are still intact in it and the pages only very slightly worn after having existed many years in my bookcase. The library, museum and the Caesar statue and the bus stop on Park Ave, were in reality present, when I went there, some years ago. There never were any incidents of fear causing men or missing pages. Are the dream men a replacements of the bogy men of my childhood, perhaps via the strange pantheon of the strange creatures that filled the book pages that were in my dream ripped out and somehow I could not immediately take back for replacement? What do you think?