I dreamt, I was standing in some kind Southern California type of walled
court, sunny, warm and tranquil. The grass was thick, soft, and
bordered with orange trees loaded with ripe fruit. There were
comfortable looking lounge chairs placed at intervals. It was just like
the homes of the Hollywood stars you see in magazines. I find one of
the chairs under a orange tree that provides a comfortable balance of
sun and shade.
I am supposed to wait here to be interviewed by the producer of a
television series based on the concept of police coming face to face
with perpetrators while the cameras roll. Somehow, I am seeking the
position of assistant to the director. A job I think would be ideal for
me, and within my abilities but that I knew I would have to really have
fake any claims of actual experience with. Being a dedicated fan of the
Soproanos, I considered as useful to bring this up when the
interview got around this, as a ploy to get away from my lack of actual
experience. Thoughts of this nature occupied me as I sat there trying
out, in various little visual plays, what he would want to hear from
me.
Suddenly I saw a man running toward me, I expected that he was hurrying
to fetch me to see the Producer.
As he neared and I recognized this could not be what he was approaching
me for. I FEEL FEAR AND DISGUST AT HIS shriveled LOOKING FACE AND BODY.
He was excitedly saying -that he was a murderer- I wondered if this was
some trick of the Producer and his Director were using, to test my
ability to cope with the negatives that crime shows deal with.
I was trying to comprehend what the man was saying-and same time trying
to maintain the calm front of professional interviewer.
'SIR, maybe if you can calm yourself a bit and explain what you mean,
--I want to understand what are saying --Do I need to call the police,
medical people or your family? He continued incoherent, but I caught
the words "murder-going to jump -niece at home-more destruction' All
the words too mixed to grasp context. However, as soon as I repeated
'FAMILY? 'back to him, he said, “yes, it is suicide” but he spoke, as
if talking to some invisible other person, not me.
I tried to ask him other interviewer type questions and at the same
time, debating whether to make away from him or stay and try to help
him, as I was growing afraid for my own safety -But decide to help him,
still hoping this was being staged by the director, something like was
common on the old Candid Camera TV Shows.
Then the man seemed to regain his self-control, --”Yes, If you will
accompany me home I will explain all.”
Then somehow, we were at his home, one he shared with his niece. This
niece was married but the husband was not there. I assumed this had
some connection to what was the cause of the man's saying he was a
murder and his desire to commit suicide. Was this statement just a
nervous breakdown fantasy or something real? I tried to get the facts
from the niece, but as soon as she started to answer. He would drown
out her words, growing so very loud and angry, that I grew frightened
that he might murder the niece and me.
He rambled on, something about “ if some woman loved him, then they
should have their own place together. If this, not to be, then death to
all the participants--”
The man now, no longer looked so shriveled and crazy.
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Comment:
Those of you who have followed my previous dreams may not be surprised
that I have some grandiose desire to shine in the spotlight, T.V, film
etc. In reality, I sell my self short when promoting myself and in my
employment seek positions for which I am actually over qualified for
and play as if what they ask of me might be too difficult. This
protects me from the painful nightmares and tossing and turning nights
that even the slightest mistake I make at work (or social affairs)
cause me. Sometimes even outside system failures not in any way my
fault or responsibility cause me to suffer this same way. Clearly
neurotic, and as hinted at in the dream, I see it as testing of my
facade. I am fascinated by my fellow human's fictional and real
violence stories. Perhaps that violence enters my dream world from some
related impulses hidden deep inside me? I am willing to look further,
but so far it moves like a mirage distantly ahead.
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I would like your comments and analysis of my dreams! Just
put "HOLLYWOOD INTERVIEW' in the subject and sent to
fateanalysisguy@gmail.com
I'd love to hear from you.
--JoAnn
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